Aligning with Your Future Self: How to Close the Gap Between Who You Are and Who You Want to Be
Do you have an audacious goal for this year?
For me, I am writing more, dreaming bigger, and taking deliberate action to align with my future self. I’ve clocked over 60,000 words in my Morning Pages, a ritual introduced by Julia Cameron in her book, The Artist’s Way, and it has unlocked my creativity. As I make steady progress on my book, I’m realising that I’m not just writing anymore—I’m building a bridge to the future. I am transforming from a writer into a soon-to-be book author.
“Every choice and action you take is a bridge to your future self.”
This process of stepping into the person I aspire to be has taught me an important truth: the future isn’t some far-off destination. It’s created in the choices we make today. It’s the quiet, intentional decisions that turn dreams into reality.
And this is what I’ve seen in my work with individuals navigating life’s transitions. They often come to me unsure how to close the gap between who they are and who they want to become. Their future selves often start as whispers, much like my client Sarah’s did.
Closing the Gap: A Real-Life Transformation
Sarah’s journey is one I’ll never forget. (Her name has been changed to protect her privacy.) When she first came to me, she felt stuck, caught between the life she was living and the life she desperately wanted. Her dream was to run a business that empowered others, but she didn’t know how to get there. Every morning, she began journaling—writing letters from her future self. These weren’t just wishful musings; they were vivid, actionable insights from the version of herself who had already achieved her goals.
Slowly, those journal entries shaped her daily actions. She started carving out time to develop her skills, network with like-minded people, and map out her business plans. Today, Sarah isn’t just running her dream business—she’s transforming lives, just as she had envisioned in those early journal pages.
Her transformation embodies a powerful concept from psychology called self-discrepancy theory, developed by Professor Edward Higgins at Columbia University. The theory explains that we all have three key self-concepts:
Actual self—who we are today, shaped by our current traits, habits, and behaviours.
Ideal self—who we dream of becoming, driven by our aspirations and deepest goals.
Ought self—who we believe we should be, based on societal expectations, responsibilities, and obligations.
The gap between the actual self and the ideal self often creates discomfort, such as frustration or self-doubt, while the gap between the actual self and the ought self can lead to feelings of guilt or anxiety. However, this discomfort isn’t inherently bad—it’s a signal for change and growth. By focusing on bridging the gap to your ideal self, you can align your actions with your aspirations and create meaningful transformation.
Three Practices to Bridge the Gap Between Your Actual and Ideal Self
Write a Letter from Your Future Self
One of the simplest yet most profound ways to connect with your future self is to write a letter from their perspective. Picture yourself five years from now, living the life you aspire to. What advice would they give you? What steps did they take to get there?
For Sarah, these letters became a blueprint. Every time she felt lost or unsure, she would reread them, reminding herself of her direction and purpose. For me, my Morning Pages have become a daily conversation with the author I’m becoming, guiding me through creative blocks and keeping me aligned with my goals.
Create Daily Rituals That Reflect Your Ideal Vision
Change happens in the smallest moments. Ask yourself, “What habits or routines does my future self have?” Maybe they prioritize health, dedicate time to learning, or say yes to opportunities outside their comfort zone.
Mark, a participant in one of my leadership workshops, used this principle to start small. (His name has been changed to protect his privacy.) He envisioned himself as a leader making a community impact. His first step? Volunteering just one hour a week mentoring young leaders. Over time, that small commitment grew into a leadership role where he’s now shaping organisational culture.
Celebrate Moments of Alignment
Every time your actions reflect your future self, take a moment to acknowledge it. These moments, however small, build momentum and reinforce your belief in your ability to transform.
When I complete a section of my book, I celebrate it—not as an endpoint but as a step closer to becoming a published author. When Sarah signed her first client, we celebrated it as evidence of the business owner she was becoming. Every choice you make that aligns with your vision strengthens the bridge to your future self.
Conclusion
The gap between who you are (your actual self) and who you want to be (your ideal self), while considering your social and cultural responsibilities (your ought self), isn’t a void—it’s fertile ground for growth. This is where transformation happens—not through dramatic leaps, but through small, intentional steps.
I am still writing, still dreaming, and still building my bridge. And I know you can, too. Your future self is waiting, full of wisdom and potential, ready to guide your next step.
So, what action will you take today to honour their vision? What story will you write together? Let me know in the comments or hit reply.
Remember, every choice you make is a bridge to your future. Start building it now.
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About the Author
Lidia Lae, Ph.D., is a writer, psychologist, and speaker, committed to empowering individuals and organisations to build healthier cultures for meaningful contribution.