Rewriting the Rules: How to Build a Culture That Supports You
Last week, in my Culture Shaper episode with Shannon Swales, we landed on a truth too many people can relate to: "Me too" with burnout.
The messages kept rolling in: “I’ve been there.” “I feel this every day.” “I didn’t realise how much I needed to hear this.”
It confirmed what I’ve known for a long time—burnout isn’t just personal; it’s cultural. We’ve been taught to treat exhaustion like a badge of honour, to believe success requires sacrifice, and to feel guilty the moment we pause to breathe.
“Leadership is a bold act of culture creation”
But what if we stopped glorifying burnout?
What if we rewrote the rules to create a culture that fuels us instead of drains us?
Culture isn’t something we passively inherit—it’s something we create. And if the existing rules aren’t supporting you, it’s time to change them.
I discussed building culture with founder and CEO Karen Gombault in my interview for the Women Leading Boldly Summit, which starts next week on March 3rd. It’s a free event—though you do need to register—and it’s designed to empower women to recognise themselves as natural leaders, the very heart of culture, shaping it despite systemic challenges. I see leadership as a bold act of culture creation.
In this article, I share three key steps to build a culture that supports you and reshape the world around you. Leadership starts with how you show up—you have the power to drive cultural change. My interview with Karen dives deeper into the foundations of culture creation—register now!
1. Redefine Success on Your Own Terms
Many of us have been conditioned to define success in rigid ways—through status, productivity, and external validation. But this definition often leaves people chasing a moving target, feeling drained rather than fulfilled.
A friend once spent years chasing promotions, believing that if she could just reach the next milestone, she’d finally feel accomplished. Instead, she found herself overwhelmed and disconnected from what once brought her joy. It wasn’t until she redefined success that things changed. Instead of measuring her worth by external achievements, she started asking:
Did I take care of myself today?
Did I show up for the people who matter?
Did I engage in meaningful work?
This shift not only improved her well-being but made her more effective in her work and relationships.
Research on growth mindset (Yeager et al., 2022) supports this: People who focus on learning and well-being rather than rigid success markers tend to be more resilient and fulfilled.
So, ask yourself: Are you pursuing someone else’s definition of success or one that actually aligns with your values? True success isn’t about constantly doing more—it’s about doing what matters most.
2. Cultivate an Environment of Psychological Safety and Growth
Too often, people feel like they have to prove their worth through relentless effort rather than through their ideas, contributions, or creativity. But growth doesn’t happen in an environment that punishes mistakes, shames rest, or pushes people beyond their limits.
A former client once told me that in her previous workplace, perfection and non-stop availability were the expectations. Taking risks wasn’t encouraged because failure wasn’t tolerated. The result? Everyone was exhausted, playing it safe, and afraid to speak up.
Research on workplace culture (Edmondson, 2019) shows that when people feel psychologically safe, they are more likely to contribute new ideas, challenge outdated systems, and take meaningful risks. Whether in a leadership position or just in your daily environment, here’s how you can foster a growth-driven culture:
Encourage learning over perfection. Mistakes and setbacks aren’t failures; they’re opportunities for improvement.
Emphasize well-being as a key to performance. The best work happens when people are energized, not depleted.
Surround yourself with those who challenge you to grow. Seek out communities where innovation and experimentation are welcomed.
When you cultivate psychological safety, you set yourself up for sustainable success, innovation, and long-term goal achievement.
Real progress happens when growth isn’t the exception—it’s the norm. The best ideas, the biggest breakthroughs, and the most resilient people thrive in environments that welcome learning, not just performance.
3. Shift from Self-Sufficiency to Shared Success
We’ve been taught that strong people “handle things on their own.” That asking for help is a weakness. That real leaders never struggle. But hyper-independence isn’t strength—it’s self-isolation in disguise.
I remember hearing this in a team meeting: “You don’t build anything great alone.” At the time, I was juggling multiple responsibilities, believing that if I didn’t do it, no one else would. And I wasn’t alone. I watched talented, capable people take on more than they could handle—hesitant to ask for support, afraid that admitting struggle would make them seem less competent.
But over time, I noticed something: the strongest, most effective people weren’t the ones doing everything alone—they were the ones who knew how to lean on others. They delegated, they asked for help, and they built trust within their teams.
Research on social support and resilience (Haslam et al., 2021) confirms that people who build strong networks experience lower stress, make better decisions, and sustain higher well-being over time. Instead of trying to go it alone, consider how shared success is far more powerful than solitary effort.
Normalize collaboration. The most effective people ask for help, delegate, and create partnerships instead of hoarding responsibilities.
Invest in meaningful connections. Strong relationships fuel resilience. Prioritize the people who challenge and uplift you.
Be the support you wish you had. If you want to see a culture of reciprocity, model it first.
Success is never a solo pursuit. The sooner we move away from the myth of self-sufficiency, the stronger and more sustainable our growth becomes. Real leadership is building collaborative teams!
Conclusion
While each of these steps is powerful on its own, together they form the initial framework for cultural change. When we challenge outdated beliefs, set boundaries, aim for growth, collaborate, and prioritise well-being, we don’t just improve our own lives—we change the culture around us.
We are leaders in our own right, capable of making changes that foster success for ourselves and empower those around us.
Imagine if more people rejected burnout culture, embraced imperfection, and created spaces where growth and support were the norm rather than the exception. It starts with each of us. The rules we live by shape the world around us, and if those rules aren’t serving us anymore, we have the power to rewrite them.
Which outdated rule do you want to leave behind? What’s one shift you’re making to build a culture that supports you? Let’s start the conversation—drop your thoughts in the comments or email me.
Women Leading Boldly Summit
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Don’t miss out in registering for this important summit!
References:
Edmondson, A. (2019). The fearless organization: Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation, and growth. Wiley.
Haslam, S. A., et al. (2021). The social cure: Identity, health, and well-being. Psychological Science, 32(5), 682-699.
Kitayama, S., & Uskul, A. K. (2022). Culture, mind, and the brain: Current evidence and future directions. Annual Review of Psychology, 73(1), 491-517.
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2020). Self-determination theory: Basic psychological needs in motivation, development, and wellness. Guilford Publications.
Yeager, D. S., et al. (2022). A national experiment reveals where a growth mindset improves achievement. Nature, 603(7902), 364-369.
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About the Author
Lidia Lae, Ph.D., is a writer, psychologist, and speaker, committed to empowering individuals and organisations to build healthier cultures for meaningful contribution.