Writing as a Way of Confronting Fears
Why do you write? I found myself grappling with this question while feeling exasperated with the plot of my book, Sorting Our Selves. Writing, for me, is a way to express myself, to have a voice, to remember, to use my imagination, to create beautiful prose, to process my thoughts and feelings, to communicate. I could go on. But lately, I’ve come to understand that writing is also a powerful tool to face our fears.
“Writing is a powerful tool to face your fears.”
As a child, I had a fear of drawing attention to myself. I remember a moment in Grade 2, sitting on the mat in the classroom. The teacher asked a question, and I knew the answer. But instead of putting my hand up and stepping into the limelight, I quickly whispered to my friend the answer, and she raised her hand. She got the credit for my knowledge, and I stayed in the background, overshadowed by my fear. I felt like I had cheated myself, that fear had robbed me.
This fear followed me into adulthood, holding me back in countless ways. I’ve come to realise that what we keep hidden within us— our fears — has the power to restrain us. But when we bring what we are afraid of into the open, when we shed light on what is hidden through words written or spoken, what we fear loses its power.
Dr. Daniel J. Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson explain this beautifully in their book, The Whole-Brain Child. They reveal that the right side of our brain, which processes feelings and autobiographical memory (our memory system of personal episodes/experiences), needs to work in tandem with the left side — logical, literal, linguistic, and linear. The healing process begins when we tackle painful experiences by telling our life stories, connecting the left and right hemispheres of our brain. Storytelling allows us to understand ourselves and our world by integrating both sides of our brain.
When I work with children and their parents on facing fears, I often witness this transformation. As soon as a child labels their feelings and tells their story, they undergo a catharsis — a release of their anxiety. This enables the healing process to begin. Dr. Siegel and Dr. Bryson explain that research shows naming our emotions calms the activity in the emotional circuitry of the right hemisphere.
Writing about my childhood fear of not wanting to draw attention to myself allows me to face this fear head-on. Susan Jeffers’ book, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, encouraged me to confront fear with action. That is why I write. Writing is my liberation. It connects me more deeply to myself, bridging my left and right brain. Whether through writing or speaking, I urge you to face your fears. Share your story. Don’t let fear rob you as it did me for so many years. Start writing or sharing. Let your story be your strength.
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About the Author
Lidia Lae, Ph.D., is a writer, psychologist, and speaker, committed to empowering individuals and organisations to build healthier cultures for meaningful contribution.
Reference:
Jeffers, S. (2007). Feel the fear and do it anyway. Vermilion.
Siegel, D. J., & Payne Bryson, T. (2011). The whole-brain child: 12 Revolutionary strategies to nurture your child's developing mind. Bantam Books.