3 Signs You’re Living Out of Alignment with Your Values
A few years ago, I sat across from a client in my clinic, and she was on the verge of tears. “I don’t understand,” she said. “I’ve checked all the boxes—I have the career, the house, the relationships—but something still feels off. I should be happy, but I’m not.”
As we began to unpack her feelings, it became clear: her life looked good on the outside, but it wasn’t aligned with her inside. She was living according to expectations—others’ priorities, others’ dreams—but not her own. On the surface, she seemed successful but inside, she was truly miserable. Her core values, the things that made her feel alive, were buried under the weight of “shoulds.”
“Alignment with your values unlocks fulfilment.”
Her story isn’t unique. Over the years, I’ve worked with many people feeling stuck, frustrated, or overwhelmed, wondering why their life doesn’t feel fulfilling. The truth is, this often happens when we’re living out of alignment with our values—the core principles that guide our decisions and give our lives meaning.
How do you know if this is happening to you? Here are three key signs to look for.
You’re Constantly Busy, Yet Unsatisfied
Does your calendar look full, yet you still feel unfulfilled? Are you juggling commitments but not finding time for the things that truly matter? When you’re out of alignment with your values, it’s easy to say “yes” to everything because you don’t have a clear framework for what deserves your time.
This often leads to overwhelm and burnout. Your energy is spread thin across obligations that don’t serve your deeper purpose, leaving you too exhausted to pursue what truly lights you up.
Alignment starts with clarity. When you know your values, they act as a filter, helping you focus on what matters most and giving you permission to say “no” to the rest.
You Feel Frustrated or Disconnected
Think about the last time you felt deeply frustrated. Was it at work, in a relationship, or during a routine task? Often, that frustration comes from a misalignment between your actions and your values.
For example, if you value creativity but spend your days in a monotonous environment, or if connection is important to you but your relationships feel surface-level, it’s no wonder you feel stuck. That disconnect drains your energy and keeps you from feeling inspired.
Living in alignment doesn’t require a dramatic overhaul. It starts with small changes—intentional decisions that reflect who you are and what matters most to you.
You Struggle to Make Decisions
Do you find yourself second-guessing every decision, big or small? Without clarity on your values, even minor choices can feel overwhelming. Should you accept that opportunity? Spend your time on this or that?
When your values are clear, decision-making becomes simpler and more confident. You can easily identify what aligns with your priorities and say “no” to what doesn’t, freeing up mental space and energy.
Your Next Step
If you’ve recognized yourself in any of these signs, take a moment to reflect—you’re not alone, and this is a pivotal step toward realignment. Living a life that truly reflects your values isn’t about perfection; it’s about making small, intentional shifts that bring clarity and fulfilment.
That’s exactly what I’ll guide you through in my upcoming The Fulfilled Life Masterclass. During this session, you’ll gain powerful tools, including the Values Alignment Worksheet, to help you uncover your core values and start creating a life that feels more balanced, intentional, and aligned with what truly matters.
This isn’t just another event—it’s a chance to reset, refocus, and take meaningful steps toward living with purpose. I can’t wait to share this with you. Stay tuned for more details coming soon!
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About the Author
Lidia Lae, Ph.D., is a writer, psychologist, and speaker, committed to empowering individuals and organisations to build healthier cultures for meaningful contribution.