Do you ever promise yourself that this year will be different? That you’ll finally stop sabotaging your own success and make real progress toward your boldest goals?

I know I have.

It’s been five years since I wrote the first draft of my non-fiction book, and I’ll admit—I’ve self-sabotaged along the way. But this year, I’m making a commitment: No more standing in my own way.

Recently, my friend Steve Brock launched his second book, The Creative Wild, which helps writers like me get unstuck. Witnessing his journey—from idea to published book—was inspiring. It reminded me just how miraculous it is when a thought becomes something tangible that impacts people’s lives.

And every day, as I sit in front of my MacBook, I’m reminded of another Steve—one whose biography I read last year, brilliantly captured by Walter Isaacson.

Steve Jobs was a visionary, a rebel, and a genius who changed the world. He co-founded Apple, revolutionised personal computing, and led the charge in music, phones, and digital media. Yet, despite his brilliance, Jobs nearly became the architect of his own downfall.

In this article, I want to explore how self-sabotage isn’t just self-imposed—it’s a dance between self and culture. At its worst, it stalls our progress in life without us even realising it. And through Steve Jobs' story, I want to highlight the hidden ways we all fall into this trap—and how to break free.

The Self-Sabotage of a Genius

In the early days of Apple, Jobs fell into several cultural traps of self-sabotage—perfectionism, authoritarian leadership, fear of failure, and the relentless hustle mentality. His obsession with control, his unwillingness to listen, and his abrasive leadership style created chaos.

Eventually, in 1985, Apple’s board had enough. The very company he built forced him out.

It was a classic case of self-sabotage disguised as ambition. Society often glorifies perfectionists, workaholics, and tough leaders, but when these traits go unchecked, they can become the very things that hold us back.

Thankfully, Jobs learned from his mistakes. He spent years refining his leadership approach, embracing collaboration, and returning to Apple in 1997 with a new mindset—one that led to some of the greatest innovations in history.

The Lesson?

Cultural norms can push us into self-sabotaging behaviours without us even realising it. And it’s not just legendary CEOs—many of us fall into these same traps every day.

Here are the five biggest cultural traps that might be holding you back—and how to break free.

1. The Perfectionism Trap: “If It’s Not Perfect, It’s Not Worth Doing”

   From childhood, we’re conditioned to believe perfection is the key to success. I’ve struggled with this myself. But in reality, perfectionism leads to paralysis, overthinking, and burnout

   Jobs delayed projects for months because they weren’t "just right." Many of us do the same—we put off starting a business, applying for a job, or sharing our ideas because they’re not “perfect” yet.

   But here’s the truth: Perfection doesn’t exist. And chasing it can stop us from making real progress.

   How to Break Free:

   - Aim for excellence, not perfection—progress matters more than flawlessness.

   - Set realistic deadlines to avoid endless tweaking.

   - Learn from Jobs: focus on impact, not perfection.

2. The Fear of Failure Trap: “Failure is Shameful”

   Many cultures demonise failure. From a young age, we’re taught that making mistakes means we’re not capable. This fear stops us from taking risks.

   Jobs' biggest failure—getting fired from Apple—could have been the end of his career. Instead, he used failure as fuel. He launched new companies (NeXT and Pixar), learned from his mistakes, and returned to Apple stronger than ever.

   Failure isn’t an endpoint—it’s a stepping stone.

   How to Break Free:

   - Redefine failure—see it as learning, not losing.

   - Take small risks to build resilience.

   - Ask yourself: What’s worse—failing or never trying?

3. The Imposter Syndrome Trap: “I Don’t Deserve This”

   Despite their accomplishments, many high achievers secretly feel like frauds. I know I have. Society idolises “natural talent,” making us think that if we struggle or make mistakes, we must not be “good enough.”

   Even Jobs, for all his confidence, feared being seen as an outsider—especially among engineers. But once he embraced his true strengths (vision, storytelling, and marketing), he unlocked his full leadership potential.

   How to Break Free:

   - Own your accomplishments—you’ve earned them.

   - Keep a “win list” of your successes.

   - Focus on growth, not comparison.

4. The Hustle Culture Trap: “Rest is for the Weak”

   Hustle culture glorifies working 24/7—long hours, no sleep, and sacrificing everything for success.

   Jobs embodied this early on, pushing himself and his team to extreme limits. But over time, he realised true creativity requires balance. Some of his best ideas—like the iPhone—came when he stepped back and looked at the big picture.

   How to Break Free:

   - Work smarter, not harder—productivity isn’t about hours; it’s about impact.

   - Prioritise rest and recovery—your best ideas come when you recharge.

   - Set clear work-life boundaries—burnout ≠ success.

5. The Negative Self-Talk Trap: “I’m Not Good Enough”

   In many cultures, self-criticism is mistaken for humility. But constantly putting yourself down only reinforces doubt and fear.

   This is huge in my collectivist culture, and I am actively breaking free from it!
   Jobs was his own worst critic—and sometimes, his toughest on others. But his true growth came when he learned to channel his self-reflection into improvement, rather than self-destruction.

   How to Break Free:

   - Catch negative thoughts and replace them with facts.

   - Speak to yourself like you would to a friend.

   - Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift you.

Conclusion

As I look at my MacBook—one of Jobs’s greatest innovations—I am reminded that self-sabotage is a battle we all fight. But we don’t have to let these cultural traps define our futures.

This year, I’m breaking free from the perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk that has stalled my book for too long. I’m finishing it—to help women around the world own their life stories, create the joy and success they desire, and leave their mark on this world we are shaping together.

What about you? Share the cultural trap you’re tackling this year by email or in the comments—let’s hold each other accountable!

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About the Author

Lidia Lae, Ph.D., is a writer, psychologist, and speaker, committed to empowering individuals and organisations to build healthier cultures for meaningful contribution.